|Posted by edmond on September 27, 2018 at 3:00 AM||comments (0)|
like always, it's been ages since my last post!
i had the best present ever for my last birthday!!! my mum called me on a weekend at the beginning of september to ask me if i was up for a little drive and i said OK. we went to a place called SPA (société protectrice des animaux) which takes in charge cats and dogs that have been given up. as my mum knew that i wanted a jack russell, she had been looking for one for weeks on the website of this association. she finally managed to find one and we went to visit him. i instantly fell in love with him and i brought him home.
at the beginning, he was acting shy because he had been in this shelter for more than a year as he's 8 yo (and they have a lot of problems to have older dogs to get adopted) so he was spending all his time by side (maybe scared that i would also give him up).
now, he's feeling a lot more better and i discovered that he's already well educated as he knows all the basic orders and love to play the ball for hours! as all the dogs of this breed, he's really clever, energetic and stubborn which i really love because we too in this area of france are known also to be really stubborn so we're just a perfect match!
lately, i've been reading a lot of books on how to educate a dog and about the psychology of dogs. i really want to do my best so that he feels at his best and i can understand clearly his needs. when i got him, his name was Elixir but i decided to change this name because i found it kinda odd for a dog so now he's named Eliott instead. he also get used to his new name and when i call him i can see his cute little face popping up
i've been recording some cover songs lately that you can find on both youtube and soundcloud. i'm also making new music but have no plan to release something new for the moment. let's wait and see...
have all a wonderful end of week!
|Posted by edmond on August 4, 2017 at 2:55 AM||comments (0)|
i'm glad to announce that i decided to create a new concept entitled "dans mon salon". so what is it exactly?
first of all, "dans mon salon" means "in my living room". i want you all to pick your favourite song of mine and i'll be singing it for you live in my living room! so far, i recorded, two live versions! the first one is "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXyIpDB77i4" target="_blank">amour d'hiver" and the second one "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiYbWz3Q0sw" target="_blank">don't stop" for my dearest friend freckq. i know that some of you are wondering what this "don't stop" song is as it has never been released. actually "don't stop" is the very first song i ever composed on a computer in 2001. at that time it wasn't even my computer but my sister's one because i still haven't had the money at that time to buy one just for me. so i came everyday at my sister's place just to work on making this song. once i had completed it, i did more than 10 different remixes versions of this song! that means that only my oldest friends know about this very first song and that's why fredckq requested this one because it has always been his favourite one ever because he knows how much this song means to me.
you can actually find some alternative versions of this song but with another title which is "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAR1Jc0-zLw" target="_blank">desconocido". when i first recorded it, it was a japanese song and i translated it into spanish after moving to barcelona. you can find it in the first album i officially released, "https://itunes.apple.com/album/outrageous-2013-edition/id768601649" target="_blank">outrageous" as well as remixes on thehttps://itunes.apple.com/album/in-outrageous-adventures-edoprod/id584272916" target="_blank">10th anniversary triple album and on the https://itunes.apple.com/album/strawberry/id771304059" target="_blank">strawberry maxi single.
let me know what you think about the very first version i sang live dans mon salon! i hope you'll like it!
so if you want me to sing your favourite song live "dans mon salon", just send me a message through facebook, twitter, instagram or even by mail at firstname.lastname@example.org and i'll sing it for you!
have all a wonderful weekend!
|Posted by edmond on July 23, 2017 at 6:05 PM||comments (0)|
as usually, it's been ages since the last time i updated my blog. not that i was particularly busy working but, recently, i've been spending most of my spare time reading a lot of books. all kinds of books : novels, poems, mythology ('m reading the iliad by homer right now). i just can't stop reading. as soon as i finished one book, i'm reading a new one. it sometimes happens to me and i'm really enjoying it. i travel through the seas, share love and pain,...
i also worked on a new song entitled "queen of the dance floor". i qualified this song as a rupaulesque one though i made it listen to some close friends and they all told me that it was more edmondesque hahaha what i meant by rupaulesque was about the lyrics more than about the music and melody which are, yes, typically mine! i plan to release it soon but i still don't know when exactly. i decided that my dearest friend parisienne sasazuka will be featured for the music video of this song. as for the song itself, it's a dance song quite close to "move it on the dance floor". it could even be the continuation of this song.
i still haven't contacted the studio in order to record the new vocals for my best song collection! i know, i'm lazy but i always am and i assume it totally! i think artists are often like that. we love to feel the pressure to do everything at the last minute... anyway, for the crystal project there's no limit date so i guess that's why i don't worry too much.
now i'm living by the sea quite close to my mum's house. it's a really nice flat and i'm really enjoying living here. in the garden, there's a big palm which has been cut in the shape of a giant pineapple. it's soooooooooooooo cute! i love it! it seems that being and living here inspires me happiest songs than before. maybe it also means that i found back the happiness i've been lacking for so long, maybe the love and pop season is back...
have all a beautiful sunday!
|Posted by edmond on February 24, 2017 at 7:05 AM||comments (0)|
i know that some of you have been wondering what i was talking about lately when i refered to the crystal project. on the 20th of december 2017, my record company, edoprod, will be celebrating its 15th anniversary. to celebrate the 10th anniversary, i had released three albums including unreleased songs and exclusive remixes. this time, i have other plans. this summer, i'll be releasing a best cover song album and on the 20th of december i'll have two more releases planned. the first one will be international and it'll be my first best of singles. i am working on it right now and it'll include remastered and re-edited songs, some of them with new recorded vocals. the second one will be for my japanese lovers. as you know, i have a lot of songs that i wrote in japanese so this will be my best of japanese songs. it'll also include remastered and re-edited songs as well as unreleased tracks.
i'm using the word "crystal" because, if we refer to a wedding, the 15th anniversary is the crystal one. i'm actually quite excited about this because it also refers to my favourite anime ever (sailormoon) and the remake they made was entitled "sailormoon crystal".
this is just the beginning of the project so it could be modified or totally changed. i'll keep on updating you about how it's evolving through here and other social medias.
it's already friday so it's time to enjoy a great weekend!
have all a weekend to the top!
|Posted by edmond on November 29, 2016 at 6:30 PM||comments (0)|
i've been so busy lately that i didn't have time to update my blog so you must be wondering what have been happening!
if the title of this blog is "last night", it's because i'll be leaving rennes tomorrow morning. my mum was struggling with the money because she had to pay for both the flat here in rennes and the house of my grand-parents in fort-bloque that's why she decided to move to fort-bloque. this doesn't mean that i'll follow her because i met someone since last august and i'll move to his place from tomorrow. i'll be living in a small village called "guemene penfao" in loire-atlantique. it's kind of strange to me to imagine that i'll be leaving the britain area! i mean, i was born here and have always been very proud of my roots so i feel quite ashamed to move to another area... we don't plan on staying there for ever but that's the best option we have for the moment. next year, we'll be moving to a city. maybe rennes, maybe nantes, maybe bordeaux. we still don't know for the moment.
as for my french lessons, it's taking a good shape and now i have more than 10 regular students. i really love this job and feel so glad to have finally found a job that fulfills me. i have the chance everyday to meet people around the world and, though i'm in my living room, i have the sensation to be travelling all around the world! that's also why i don't really care about living in a village or in a big town because all i need for the moment is a good connection to internet so that i can work properly haha
since my last update, my new maxi single was also released! "in this town" is already number one on my spotify profile so i guess that my lovers really like it! i'm feeling so thanful for it! some of you must have understood by watching the music videos that there was a beginning and an end to my latest album "reborn". the first single's MV "真夏の通り雨" was starting with the rain on a flower
and the new one of "in this town" is also about flowers but instead of blooming, they're doing the contrary, calling the end of this "reborn" adventure.
i really hope you liked this album and will keep on showing me support for the music i make. i must confess that lately, i absolutely have no time to work on my music but i hope that as soon as everything's in order with my job, i'll be able to have more free time and get back to my other passion, the music!
this time, i won't promise that i'll try my best to update more often this blog because i know it's a promise i can't make for the time being. anyway, everytime i make updates here, i leave a message on facebook and twitter so that you'll always be aware of any news coming.
have all a wonderful week and see you really soon!
|Posted by edmond on October 26, 2016 at 9:10 AM||comments (0)|
yesterday, as i told you, i had a job interview to work as an online french teacher for a school named learn french at home. the interview went very well and we had a nice time discussing about classes and our experiences as french teacher all over the world. the more i'm working as an online french teacher, the more structured my lessons are. i decided that i'll be offering four types of lessons, regarding the expectations of my students :
1. regular lesson (all levels)
2. conversation (intermediate/advanced)
3. DELF/DALF preparation ( DELF and DALF are the official diplomas of french as a foreign language)
4. intensive program (all levels) (1 lesson every day from monday to friday)
i think this way, it'll be easier for my students to chose the type of lessons they want to have with me and i'll feel more confident explaining to them how it'll work in details.
today, i have another interview for a japanese school. i really hope it's going to work so that i can go back to teaching french to my dear japanese people! the interview is in less than an hour!!! i must say that, after the interview of yesterday, i feel really at ease to discuss about the job position and my motivations for it. let's hope it'll work out well!
after the interview, i'll have a trial lesson at 5pm with a new potential student. she's from finland but for the moment, it's the only information i have about her. we'll see how it goes.
yesterday, i applied for three new auditions and two of them were for dubbing characters in video games! i would love so much to work in this domain and really hope that i'll have the chance to realize my dream really soon!
so let's keep on crossing fingers and see what will happen next
have all a divine wednesday!
|Posted by edmond on October 25, 2016 at 9:30 AM||comments (0)|
i'm feeling so happy today because i had a lot of good news since yesterday!
today at 6pm, i have a job interview for a japanese school online! i must say that, whereas it's my very first time to have a job interview on skype, i'm not feeling nervous at all. i'm actually feeling confident because i spent time on their homepage to check what their expectations are and i think i'm a perfect match let's cross fingers!
tomorrow, i have another interview for a japanese school too! let's say that the interview of today will be like a training for me hahaha! after that i have a new trial lesson with a new potential student! let's hope it's gonna work out!
on thursday, i'll have my regular class with the very first online student i had. we have class every thursday at 3pm since the beginning of october and i really like her! she's from london but is now living in luxemblourg so she needs french to make friends, for job opportunities and also for her husband who's french! i'm always having a pleasant time with her!
as you can see, i'll be quite busy for the next days and i really love being busy all the time!
i also keep on sending scripts for auditions to become a voice over talent. i really want it to work also because i've always loved playing with my voice and would like to show them that i can be really professionnal!
have all a gorgeous tuesday!
|Posted by edmond on October 24, 2016 at 11:20 AM||comments (0)|
last week, i applied to a lot of pages on internet for job positions. i actually decided to apply to three different types of job positions.
the first one (i already started from the beginning of october) is to be an online french tutor. for the moment, i have two students and really like to teach this way! this wednesday, i have a job interview on skype for a position as an online french teacher for japan. i really hope that it'll work because i so love teaching french to my dear japanese people! let's cross fingers
secondly, i decided to start checking offers for translations. i'm not really confident for translations so far but i'm sure that once i'll have started with one, i'll feel a lot more at ease with this kind of job.
finally, i also applied to job positions to make voice over for commercials and so on. i think that i really have a good chance to work a lot with this because i already had an experience dubbing an animation when i was living in japan and i so loved it! i get automatic mails every time there's a new offer so i'm sending a lot of scripts and demos! i really hope that it'll work too!
as you can see, i am really decided to start working entirely from home. so far, i didn't realize there were so many opportnities of works! i think that mixing all those 3 jobs together, i can reach a normal salary as if i'd go to an office every day. i'll let you know when i have news from one part or another
last week, i published the cover of the maxi single of "in this town" and it got quite a success especially on instagram!
on thursday, i'll upload the official commercial on youtube and will share it on all the social reds so stay tuned! i hope you'll like it
in 2017, it'll be the 15th anniversary of edoprod so i'm thinking about releasing my first best songs collection (worldwide) and another best japanese songs collection (which would be released only in japan). it's just a thought i have for the moment... we'll see how it goes next year!
have all a gorgeous week!
|Posted by edmond on October 14, 2016 at 7:35 AM||comments (0)|
how have you been? a lot have been going on for me lately. i recently moved to the countryside, one hour away from rennes but not in bretagne anymore. i often come back to rennes to see my family and friends.
since the beginning of october, i started to apply for positions to become an online french teacher and i already have two students! i'm so happy about it. i must confess that i was feeling quite nervous when i had my first trial lesson because i felt anxious about the way it would be to give a lesson with a webcam but it all went really well! i so love giving classes and with the new technologies, i can give classes in the entire world from home! that's so incredible!
if you're looking for french classes or maybe know a friend who could be interested, here's the link to my profile :
you can share it on your facebook or other social red, it would help a lot heheh
i'm also preparing for the release of my new maxi single "in this town". this song is from my recently released album "reborn" and so far it's getting quite a succes all around the world and especially in japan! i'm so glad that my music was finally able to reach japan! it's also a good way for me to get to know new people from japan!
this new maxi single will have 10 tracks. here's the playlist :
01 in this town
03 because of you
04 click clock
05 conquistar tu corazón
07 without u (amanogawa rmx)
08 amour d'hiver (original karaoke)
09 i'll be there (xtended version)
10 in this town (original karaoke)
as you can see, there are unreleased songs and exclusive remixes only available on this maxi single! i hope you'll like it as much as "paradisco" maxi single"!
it'll be released on all digital platforms (itunes, amazon, google music etc) on the 10th of november. why the 10th of november? because it's the birthday of my grand-mother who passed away some years ago and i wanted to make a tribute to her.
you can already listen to the samples of all the songs on amazon : https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M97W2CF
the official commercial will be unveiled on the 27th of october and the full music video on the 3rd of november. i can't wait to share it with you all!
as you can see, i have still a lot of projects to work on and to keep me busy but i'll try to update the blog more often and the entire homepage. they now have a new system to update this homepage and it's getting complicated because i can't use japanese letters or french special caracters, so i have to retype almost everything in here. i think i'll spend the day doing it! let's fight!
have all agorgeous weekend lovers!
|Posted by edmond on June 2, 2016 at 11:55 AM||comments (0)|
how have you been? it's been quite a long time since my last post but i was quite busy lately. why?
because, i was studying like crazy since my premium account of openclassrooms was about to expire so i had to study the most i could to get diplomas and i was able to get two new ones! i'm feeling so proud about it! the first one is about webmarketing and the last one i got is to manage a twitter community. i've been asked why i was doing this and what was my goal but it's just that i love learning new stuff and am always curious. it'll also be helping me a lot to improve my presence on social reds and become more professional on this that i used to be.
i was also busy preparing my new maxi single! the title of this one will be "paradisco" and it'll be a 10-track maxi single. here's the tracklist :
02 sunny (san sebastià style)
03 when i feel u
06 sunny (sitges style)
07 amour d'hiver (spring is coming for you rmx)
08 tokyo, mon amour (original karaoke)
09 to the top (Xtended version)
10 paradisco (original karaoke)
it'll be a total of 46 minutes. as you can see, there will be remixes of some of my old songs and previously unreleased tracks. i can't wait to share it with you all!
as for the music video, i also finished it last week. it's made of footages from a famous american tv program called "soul train". maybe some of you heard about it. i thought it was a perfect match with the mood i want to give to this maxi. i still have to prepare a trailer for it though...
oh, and i forgot the most important, i decided to release it on the 21st of june, the first day of summer! let's hope it'll bring sunshine to all of you!
have a wonderful thursday!
|Posted by edmond on May 16, 2016 at 2:20 PM||comments (0)|
today is my last day here in the clinic. i'll finally be out of here tomorrow! i'm so glad and i really can't wait to finally enjoy getting back my freedom! thinking back, i realized that it'll be almost two months i spent here (i checked in on the 27th of march). this afternoon, as it's a free day in france, i had an entire day out so we went home with my mum. we were thinking about going for a walk in a park but as the weather was quite irregular, we decided to stay home watching series. she came back here with me by foot because she complained that she'll be missing everyday that she was coming walking because it was a nice opportunity to walk a bit everyday.
i had dinner and watched the new sailor moon crystal episode! i soooooooooooooo love this season! so far, i wasn't a big fan of the new ending theme they had put instead of the one with uranus and neptune but i kind of liked it finally! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MFirV6aPKE" target="_blank">here it is :
tomorrow morning i'll have to empty my room by 11am. after that, i'll be free to go out and come back at 6pm to get all my stuff back. it's kind of strange but i feel nostalgic. i know it should be associated to all the pain and hurt i've been through but i also met some nice people here and i'm glad in a way to have come here. i'm also glad to have come here because i have finally been able to solve all the problems i had inside and i'm feeling so proud of the new edmond who's born!
last week, my new single "真夏の通り雨 - la pluie battante en plein été" was released and it's getting a lot of attention as it's already become number one in japan and in france as my best sold song ever! i am sooooooooooooo happy! i mean, for japan, it happened just half a day after its release and for france, three days after! for the moment, i still don't know what it actually represents as i get the reports of my sellings after two months. i thought that no other song could take the place of the everlasting number one "bang bang" but it finally happened! i still haven't planned the dates for the releases of the two more maxi singles and the full album. i think i'll be working on it this week...
last week, i kept on with my instagram advertisment and met a lot of japanese people! it's such a pleasure to chat with them and have the chance to speak japanese again! i would love to go back there again one day!
have all a wonderful week!
|Posted by edmond on May 11, 2016 at 1:30 PM||comments (0)|
how was your day?
mine wasn't that bad at all. this morning, i saw my psychiatrist again and he confirmed me that i seemed to handle very well the fact that he lowered the medication i was given so i'll be able to check out off the clinic by the end of this week! yesterday night, i posted an ad on instagram and i spent all day replying to all the likes i got (so far, i reached 324 likes!). yes, when you're an unknown artist, you don't only have to sing a song and release it but after you have to take care of everything like the promotion and stuff and i can assure you that it is a load of work to do! i wish i had a manager to take care of all this but i must say it was quite nice because i met new people from all around the world and especially japan and it was a real pleasure for me to be able to speak japanese with them and discover their everyday life! i sooooooooooooooooo miss the life i had there in tokyo years ago! i wish i had the chance to go back there one day!
i also checked on iTunes and the single was finally released! you can get it https://itunes.apple.com/album/zhen-xiano-tongri-yu-single/id1111272328" target="_blank">here. it was available just a few minutes after i posted yesterday's blog. i was so surprised this morning when i checked again to see that it's already number one of all my sellings on iTunes japan!!! i really couldn't believe it because it happened in less than one day!!!
i even called my mum right after just to share the happy news with her! she was feeling so proud of me
this afternoon, i had to go for some administrative tasks so my mum came there with me and after we went to a mall which is not so far away from the administrative office. when we passed by, we saw that there was an advertisment for an audition to become a model for a clothes shop chainstore. my mum convinced me to go and check how it was working. i just stopped and one girl who was in charge told me that i could apply at 3.30pm. we went to mc donald's for a sundae and went back there. it wasn't making part of my plan to have an audition today but i must say i did quite a good impression. i said i was a singer and when they asked me if i had any experience as a model, i just replied that i used to be a model when i was living in tokyo. they took some pics and i was out. my mum was waiting for me at a terrace nearby. we'll see if i get any chance... i must say it was quite strange because it's been ages i didn't work as a model but, as i was saying to them while the audition, as a singer, you also to have to do a lot of promotion pictures so i was kind of used to be in front of a camera. we'll see if they contact me back. anyway, it was nice because i wasn't feeling stressed at all as it wasn't planned. i'm soooooooo different from the person i used to be before. i hardly recognize me sometimes but i love it so much more this way! my life became so much easier!
after, we came back here at the clinic and my mum went back home as she knew i still had plenty of work to do replying to each and everyone on instagram. i know it's kind of crazy to do it like that but i really love human connection and it's always a pleasure to chat with new people and discover new horizons!
have all a gorgeous wednesday!
|Posted by edmond on May 10, 2016 at 1:00 PM||comments (0)|
how have you been? i was busy with the release of my new single that's why i didn't have time to post anything new lately. i've been doing a lot more better lately and the psychiatrist even told me i should be out of this clinic by the end of this week or the beginning of the next one! i'm starting to feel fed up to be here and can't wait to get back my freedom! i just wanna enjoy doing simple things like going out with my friends again! oh goooooooooooooooooood! it's been ages i'm here! at the beginning, they told me i would stay here just three weeks maximum and i'm still here since the 27th of march XD
so yes, the new single "真夏の通り雨 ～ la pluie battante en plein été" has been released today and it seems that you like it so far! i'm so glad to finally be able to share it with you all! there are still some issues because it hasn't yet been released on iTunes but it's available on all other digital stores (amazon, google music etc). i just checked and it seems that it's available on apple music japan but i can't access to it... i'll check again tomorrow... here are all the links i got so far to download it :
Amazon JP : http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/B01F72KUWI/
Amazon US : https://www.amazon.com/Edmond/dp/B01F71KGRS
Amazon FR : www.amazon.fr/dp/B01F6VUG6K/
Amazon ES : http://www.amazon.es/Edmond/dp/B01F6VGO5C
as for the music video, i also published it today too at 12am (paris time). this is what actually explains the title of this post "the moon is raining". if you haven't watched it, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjOuhJ5xefc" target="_blank">here it is :
i also added subtitiles in french, spanish (thanks to aram for the corrections) and english (thanks to manni perez for the corrections). i wasn't sure i would have time to finalize it before the release date but i finally could make it on time! i'm feeling so proud because it's exactly the image i had in my head now, i guess you understand why i was talking about the raining moon lol
this afternoon, my mum came here to visit and we went in the center to have a drink on a terrace (i had a delicious strawberry juice :p)
the weather was really sunny and hot this afternoon though this morning was all rainy and cloudy. it was really strange today as for the weather because right now it's raining again... well, it's bretagne hahaha we always have this kind of weather! i've been told by my friends in barcelona that the weather is horrible there lately and it won't stop raining XD i guess it was the perfect day to release this single as the title means "the pouring rain in midsummer" lol
let's hope that the weather will be sunny tomorrow!
have all a beautiful tuesday!
|Posted by edmond on May 4, 2016 at 11:40 AM||comments (0)|
this morning, i woke up in a really good mood and the sun was here to visit! after the breakfast, i did my butt workout and had a shower. i passed by the nursery after that and one nurse called me because tomorrow is a day off in france and the psychiatrist had put on the computer that i could have a free day like i have normally on weekends (meaning free from 10am to 6pm!). i was so glad because just a little before my sister contacted me to know what i was doing tomorrow because she wanted to meet and i didn't have any plan. i texted her back to let her know that i had an entire free day and so she replied that we could go to dinard. it's a city by the sea not so far from here! i'm so looking forward tomorrow! it's gonna be a blast with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew and niece!!!
during the morning, i met with one other patient with who i became quite friend. she told me that she had planned to go out for a drink on a terrace to enjoy the sunny day this afternoon and inivted me to join her. i was happy because i didn't have any plan for the day and, as my mum just left this morning to go to our secondary house in fort-bloque, i wasn't sure about how i could spend the afternoon!
so, after lunch, we met at the nursery and went for a drink on a terrace next to the hospital. it was just soooooooooooooo nice to enjoy the sun and having company suddenly, while i was there, i saw from a distance angel cloud with a boy (i guess it was some random guy he met on grindr or whatever) passing by just next to me. i started trembling and shaking all over. all the other girls saw that i totally changed my behaviour and asked me what was going on so i explained to them who i just saw and they tried their best to calm me down. i really didn't know what to do. i finally decided to look behind to see if he just passed but he actually sat on a terrace of a bar just behind my back! i was feeling the worst. i suddenly forgot everything about this beautiful sunny day, the fact that i was having a good time with them. i really didn't plan to meet him like that. i was wondering if i should go and say hello to him or just wait for him to leave the bar... i was just going crazy inside so i decided to text him to let him know that i was just next to him and that i was getting nervous like never before. he didn't reply to the text but i saw that he had read it. he stayed on the terrace with the guy like 30 minutes. i think it was the 30 worst minutes of my life XD he finally left and i felt so relieved...
i had planned to go back home to pick some clothes and changed my shoes but i finally decided to go back directly to the hospital because after this "event", i really didn't want to go home alone because i was really doubting about the way i could react... so, i just passed by the mall, bought some clothes i saw the day before, and came back here.
i thought i would have had a terrible panic attack after all of this but finally i didn't react that bad. it was more like feeling not at ease about the situation because i was really not ready to face him like that. i'm actually feeling quite proud about myself and about the way i reacted to the situation. some weeks ago, i know that i would have reacted in a totally different way. i would have ended up drinking or smoking like crazy and crying all over the place. but now, i'm here standing with dignity and realizing that i'm so over him. i guess it made me realized that he lost the power he used to have on me. i can feel that i became so much stronger than i used to be and that makes me so proud of myself. even in the worst situation, i can still handle myself and that's an amzing step i made!
i really can't wait for tomorrow to come! i guess i'll have plenty of things to tell you about dinard (it'll actually be the first time i visit this city!).
have all an outrageous wednesday!
|Posted by edmond on May 3, 2016 at 11:50 AM||comments (0)|
this morning, i decided to start back the workout that i had to skip last week as i was really busy! i must admit that this is exactly what i was missing to feel better in the morning and to feel ready to go! after that, i worked on the community management stuff and then i finally finished the exam i stayed stuck on for weeks and sent it for correction. i really had to finish it because i couldn't go further in the course because of that. when you send your exam for correction, it is actually corrected by other students and you also have to correct three exams from other students so that they give yours to be corrected. unfortunately, there was just two exams available for correction so mine has still not be sent. i'll check later if another exam has been sent...
this afternoon, my mum came to visit and then we went to the center because i had some administrative tasks left undone. we went there to give out the papers they needed and walked around and did some window shopping. i was actually looking for a sailor t-shirt as it seems to be the fashion of this season but found that they were quite expensive when i could find one model that was as i wanted it to be... finally, i found one but it's not a t-shirt. it's a sweater. anyway, i kind of like it. i was quite disappointed because after that, we went to another shop and they had just the perfect sailor t-shirt as i dreamt of but it was too late (maybe i'll come back to buy it because it was cheap hehehe). then, we went to a perfume shop and i bought a box containing a perfume and a shower gel of a perfume i've been wanting to buy for quite a while. it's "l'homme ideal" by guerlain. maybe, you smelled it? i sooooooooooooooooooo love it! my mum was going crazy seeing me spending my money but as i'm here in the hospital all day long, i don't spend money at all so i can permit myself to get me some "presents" when i feel the need for it! anyway, the box was really affordable and there was a discount of 25% so i really couldn't miss this chance to finally get it hahaha
we came back here around 5pm, chatted a bit and then she left for going back home. this week, i didn't make any timetable but i'll stick to the one i did last week as all my plans were changed so i still have a lot left to do from last week! i think i'll keep on working on the two other music videos i've been editing and maybe think about a way to make something for "la pluie battante en plein ete"... it'll be released next week!!! i really can't wait to share it with you all!
have all a glamorous tuesday!
|Posted by edmond on May 2, 2016 at 2:05 PM||comments (0)|
how have you been? sorry i wasn't posting anything lately on the blog but i've been really busy.
since last week, we agreed with the psychiatrist to lower the dosis of my daily medication so my mood was quite unstable and it still is. i'm fighting the best that i can so that i can finally get out of here in two weeks (that's the plan).
so yes, this will mean that for the release of my new single, i'll still be here! it's kind of strange when i think about it... i recorded, produced and released a single in a psychiatric hospital! this, for sure, is quite unusual for a singer i guess! hahaha
like i said, i was really busy because it took me a long time before i was finally able to record the vocals of "la pluie battante en plein été". not because i couldn't remember the lyrics (which is usually my problem with my songs lol) but because this is the very first time that i unveil myself that much. i really had the impression i was in the nude among a big audience. furthermore, as the lyrics touched me so deeply it was really hard for me to sing it entirely without starting to cry and you could hear it in my voice that was trembling.
one morning though, after the appointment with the psychologist, i finally decided to try to focus and record it once for good. i started recording and all the vocals just came naturally in a row. usually, it takes me a lot of time and i record many times different vocals until i can get the real sensation and feeling i want to give to the song but, this time, it all came in just one recording. the first, the best, the real one. after recording it, i was feeling both excited and sad because it was like something had died inside of me.
when i edited the vocals, i decided not to add effects as i usually do because i wanted it to be like in the circumstances i recorded it: natural and flowing. i just added reverb and that's it. many friends told me that it was nice to finally be able to catch clearly what i was singing hahaha i know, it's true that i have this (bad?) habit to always cover my voice behind a ton of effects. maybe, it's because i was always feeling unsure of myself and what i was capable of. this song made me realized that i was able to make a great song without adding so many effects. i wanted to be true to myself and to you all and i think that when you listen to it entirely, you'll get what i mean
last weekend, i asked aram to work on the cover of the digital single and he had it done on just one day! usually, we take a lot of time discussing about many possibilities but this time, i already had the image in mind so it was a lot more easier for him to do it. he showed me 10 different versions of the cover and i instantly feel in love with one. just to be sure, i checked again and ask my mum what she thought about the covers and she chose the same one as me! what do you think? do you like it?
i had some issues with the title of the song because i wanted both the japanese and french titles to appear on the mp3 but i've been told that this was impossible on itunes so i finally opted for keeping the japanese title and put the japanese and french titles on the cover only. you'll notice also that i didn't even put my name on the cover this time. i think that as i already appear on the cover it was useless to add it...
so far, i just had time to make a trailer of what will be released on the 10th of may and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvp6heV_DhU" target="_blank">here it is :
this is the final cut of the song. if you think some friends might like it, don't hesitate to share it i'm not sure if i'll be doing a music video for it or not. as i'll still be here, it's going to be hard XD
tonight, i watched the new episode of sailor moon crystal! i so love it! if you haven't watched this new version of sailor moon, i highly recommend you to watch it asap! it's just great! and actually, this season, is my favourite of all the sailor moon seasons!!!
here's the first ending of this new season and i really love the images on it, it's sooooooooooooooooooo romantic!!! LOVE it!
have all a wonderful week!
i'll try my best to update this blog as often as i can, i promise!
sweet strawberry kisses!
|Posted by edmond on April 25, 2016 at 11:10 AM||comments (0)|
sorry for not posting anything lately but i've been quite busy...
i had my appointment with the psychologist on thursday and she suggested me to express my feelings through writing lyrics or just writing down whatever i had in my mind and troubled me. after the appointment, i went back to my room and started checking my facebook and discovered that one of my favourite singer, utada hikaru had just released two new singles in a row. one of them, in particular, caught my attention as its title was "manatsu no tooriame", which litterally means "the pouring rain in midsummer" and, as some of you know, my latest album's title is "the snow in midsummer". i listened to it and immediately fell in love with the lyrics and the melody. it deeply touched me as it was quite similar to what i'm feeling and living right now. i, then decided, to translate the lyrics into french and even sent them to a web page dedicated to jpop and kpop music because they're always looking for people to involve in sharing their translations of the lyrics and so on. they replied later and my translation had been accepted! i was feeling so proud because i must confess that translation is really not my cup of tea but, this time, i could feel such a connection with the lyrics that it wasn't a hard work for me at all to translate them. if you understand french, you can read the translation HERE. after that, i started doing some searches about this song, to check if there was a music video for it or anything but nothing at all, even on youtube there was though an instrumental version made by one guy called https://www.youtube.com/user/SamYungOfficial" target="_blank">sam yung that was wonderful. i contacted him to know if it was OK if i used his instrumental version and record a french version and he replied on the next day that it was no problem at all for him! i, then, decided to adapt the lyrics into french so that it can become a french version. it took me an entire day to adapt it correctly. i made many tests to check how the french words sounded on this song, and finally had a definitive version. when it was time for me to record, i realized i hadn't had the strength to sing it entirely because it was too deep and was revealing me entirely like never before. just the same sensation as being in the nude in front of a thousand audience XD i made some demos and one of them is available https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkRKObwpRo8" target="_blank">here :
this has been recorded live in the clinic room and i just added effects on the video. nothing more. please, let me know what you think of it, and feel free to share with your friends
on saturday, i spent the day with my mum, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew. we went again to the restaurant called flunch because i was begging to go back there lol i ate again loads of food and french fries hahaha after that, we went back home, i took some clothes for the week and then we came back here at the clinic because we wanted to watch some episodes we had left of "shameless US" from the season 6. my mum left just after because it was already around 6.30pm , i went out for a ciggy and went i came back in my room, the dinner was alaredy on the table. i started having a panic attack because i was making comparison with the wonderful lunch i had with all my family just few hours ago, and the fact to be here again alone, eating in front of this fucking wall just drove me crazy! i did my best to try to regulate my breath but i wasn't feeling strong enough to fight. i ended up going out in the garden to try to take fresh air but i just kept looking around and the more i realized where i was, the more stressful i became. i decided to go back upstairs to my room and tried to relax, just lying on my bed, but it was getting worse as i was starting to have muscle contractions and was almost breathless. i finally decided to go to the nursery to try to calm down and so i ended up with a tranquilizer XD i was feeling really frustrated because i was thinking about recording the vocals of the song at night but, because of this panic attack, i wasn't able to do anything at all. i just stayed in bed all night playing video games...
on sunday, my mum came to pick me up at 10am and we went to the all-you-can-eat chinese restaurant with my sister, brother-in-law and my nephew (my niece went for one-week holidays in UK with her school). it was nice too but i had to talk to them about what happened last night and about the fact, also, that what was planned for me last week hadn't been respected at all. i mean, i was supposed to start going out alone progressively and i did it, just during two days, then i totally skipped this information as my mum did (guess we did it unconciously) and i ended up spending all my time out with my mum and never alone. my sister got quite angry about it and started shouting at my mum and me, saying that we had to respect the plan if we really wanted me to check out of this clinic one day. she was sooooooooooo true but it's really hard for me as i have a really close relationship with my mum so it was really tough for both of us to try to imagine what we would do if we couldn't see us at all. i said that it could be nice that we alternated the days. one day alone and one day with her... so, we decided that on monday (today) we won't be meeting at all
this morning, i was feeling tired and the alalrm clock didn't even wake me up. the nurse had to call me in my room because i hadn't been to the nursery to get my morning pills. i had another appointment with the psychologist today and i told her that, for this week, i had decided to stop doing my timetable but she told me it wasn't a good idea at all because it helped me a lot to be more stable and that, at least, i needed to have plans for the days i would spend alone... after her, i finally decided to record the vocals of the song and i was able to make it entirely in just one take! i was really surprised because it usually takes me quite a long time to get the exact sensation i want to give in the vocals but, this time, the first take was exactly what i had in mind. full of deep feelings and emotion. i hope you'll like it too! i, then, had a shower, then was visited by the psychiatrist, who told me exactly the same thing as the psychologist but adding that i was forbidden to meet my mum all week long and just to see her outside of our flat for a coffee but nothing more. i could though see her during the weekend. he explained to me that i really needed to do it if i wanted to finally able to feel that i'm ready to leave this clinic. so, i contacted my mum to let her about the "news" and i could feel that she was feeling quite sad and frustrated about the situation just like me. but well, if i want to finally go back to the real world, this is part of the plan, so let's stick with it! so, after our chat, i decided to make a timetable for this week and tried to get as busy as possible. i even planned what i would be doing outside because the psychiatrist told me it would just be a disaster to go out just because i had to and wander in the city all day long like a ghost.
after lunch, i stuck to my timetable, more or less, and added some stuff along the way. i started by a little bit of shopping in the mall which is near the clinic and bought a bunch of new clothes for the soon-to-come summer and, as usually, two new t-shirts (i don't know if ever talked about my collection of t-shirts, i have more than 250 t-shirts!!!). after the mall, i headed to the social security as i had some administrative tasks there. i, then, went to the TNB to check the movie program for this week, went to another mall (colombier) but didn't find anything... on the way back to the clinic, i was attracted by a church which you can see from the garden here in the clinic. i decided to enter out of curiosity. i'm not a believer and i must say i have quite a fascination for the believers. sometimes i wish i were a believer in something but first, i'll have to learn to believe in myself lol. i even made the cross sign when i entered with the sacred water! i have a catholic background as i spent all my scholarship in catholic schools so i know how it works more or less hahaha i even prayed to a statue of mary. i explained to her that i wasn't a believer but if she had a way so that my family wouldn't be suffering so much because of me i would be grateful to her and i wished that i would be feeling better really soon. i know, it's kind of strange coming from me to go to a church and pray. i don't even understand why i did it but it kind of made me feel better after doing it. maybe my wish will come true, you never know...
tonight, i have some plans for the night, like working on the vocals i recorded, editing the music videos that i'm working on (for the songs "in this town" and another one for "paradisco"). let's cross fingers so that i can complete at least of one those numerous tasks i still have left for today! lol
have all gorgeous week full of love!
|Posted by edmond on April 20, 2016 at 11:35 AM||comments (0)|
this morning i was feeling quite tired because i was finally able to fall asleep quite late (past midnight). i had breakfast and the psychiatrist came to visit. i told him that yesterday and the day before yesterday i was overthinking so he told me that it would be better for me to relax today and spend my energy on something elese so after he left i started my workout routine and did 3 sessions (as i didn't work out on monday and tuesday). i was feeling really better after that. i took a long shower, took care of me with beauty creams and masks. after that, i did my community management work and it was already time for lunch.
after lunch, i had a really short nap and went to the nursery to get my paper so i could go out. i had to go back home today because there were my niece and nephew there. it's actually been more than a month since the last time i had seen my nephew and i was feeling quite excited to have the chance to see his pretty face again! when i went out of the hospital, i decided to take the bus to go home but there was a strike again and they were blocking the access to the bus XD i just ran until republique station and took the bus from there. i arrived and my niece was still there (she had to go at 2.30pm, because she had a badmington lesson). i was really happy to see her even if it was just for a short time. my nephew was not feeling good so my mum decided that it would be better that he stayed home instead of going to his basketball lesson. i must say i was happy that he could stay longer with me we couldn't talk a lot because he's from this new generation always stuck on their tablets. anyway, it was nice to play with him and share some moments hehe
i realized quite late that i had forgotten to connect my phone to the wireless that we have at home and when i did it started launching a bunch of updates for most of my applications i have installed! it was taking ages and i was seeing the time flying away so i asked my mum if she could bring me back to the hospital to be sure i wouldn't arrive late.
we went back here by car and i played the playlist i have for my nephew on my phone. we had a lot of fun because the three of us were singing together children songs!
after entering my room, i just turned on my vaio and started writing this blog. i'm feeling really happy to have met with my family and can't wait for the next time i'll see my niece and nephew again!
tomorrow, i don't know exactly when i upload my blog because i have an appointment with the psychologist at 3.30pm and i know for sure it's going to be really intense so i don't know if i have the strength to type something tomorrow or not. let's wait and see...
have all a beautiful wednesday!
|Posted by edmond on April 19, 2016 at 12:15 PM||comments (0)|
yesterday night, i had a call from my dear friend isabelle because she checked my blog out and was so amused about the situation with madame duval that we stayed on the phone talking about how creepy it was and how similar it was to a bad horror movie lol
after that, i started overthinking again and my head was about to explode so, around midnight, i asked for a tranquilizer so that my brain could finally rest because my body was exhasuted.
i was feeling quite tired but it got better during the morning. i started writing again but this time about my past, how i saw the relationships in the couple i knew and tried to make some comparisons on how i was in a couple too.
today, i made a great discovery and finally understood why i was sometimes getting so depressed and suicidal. it didn't come all of a sudden and it's something from long ago that's causing what is happening to me now. i don't think this blog is the right place to explain what i discovered exactly. maybe it'll become when i am able to clear out all of this through writing new lyrics and new songs so that you'll understand what exactly happened.the only thing that i can say is that what begins this crazy process is when i'm feeling abandonned by someone... after that, there's always the same pattern repeating and i end up taking too many pills or too much alcohol or whatever i have that can hurt me.
i didn't do my workout this morning either because i was really not feeling in the mood for it and prefered to focus on keeping on writing about everything and i can say i'm really proud that i was finally able to find some clues to understand how i became who i am now.i'm feeling really thankful to the psychologist because it's the very first time i see a psychologist that just doesn't listen but also helps you to prgresss and work by yourself. that's exactly what i needed.
first, i sent a text to my mum to let her know that i would go directly home during the afternoon but as i had a terrible headache because of my overthinking this morning too, i asked the nurse another tranquilizer to slow down the attack of informations that were too much to handle for just one brain to deal with. so, i ended up sending her another text asking her to come here and that we could go for a walk in the thabor park.
i had lunch (today we had french fries, yummy!) and after that, i went to the garden here in the hospital because the weather was really sunny and i prefered to enjoy a sunbath instead of taking a nap like i usually do at that time of day. my mum arrived around 2pm and we went to the thabor park. i didn't take that much pictures this time but you can check them HERE. yes, they're flowers as always but you know the passion i have for them hehe
after that, we went in the center in an outlet shop, made some grocery shops (i had to buy cakes and strawberry jam for the morning) and we went back here. tonight, i don't have any particular plan and i must say that this week, i just don't give a look at the timetable. just in the morning, after waking up, but i don't follow it at all. i think this week will be dedicated to my own introspection and that is my priority more than anything.
have all a gorgeous tuesday!
|Posted by edmond on April 18, 2016 at 12:05 PM||comments (0)|
how was your weekend? i must say i really had a great one!
on saturday, my mum came to pick me up here, we went home first then went to the all-you-can-eat chinese restaurant and had a food overdose hahaha it was sooooooooooooooo nice! i so miss eating facing someone and not a wall and i just can't wait for the weekend so that i have the chance to eat with my mum just in front of me! after that, we went back home and spent the afternoon watching series (empire and shameless US). i had brought my laptop with me so that i could download some stuff because i had an idea about a new music video for a song called "paradisco". i made the first try on saturday night and the result is exactly what i had in mind! now, i have to make a coherent montage but the idea is here and is on its way!
on sunday, mum came here to pick me up at 10 am and we went for a day in a city by the sea called saint-malo! of course, i took some pics and you can check them HERE. the weather was quite cold but sunny so it was OK! we had lunch in a nice restaurant. i had a salmon salad and a big steak with french fries! it was just delicious! as for dessert, i had what's called a "poire belle helene". it's a pear with vanilla ice cream, chocolate ice cream, whipped cream and chocolate topping. it was sooooooooo delicious! after that, we even rode the little train they have there and learnt about the history of the city. i didn't know that one guy from saint-malo actually discovered canada! we took the car back to rennes around 4pm because, as it was the end of the school holidays, we got scared to get stuck in a traffic jam and not to be able to arrive on time but finally, we had no issue regarding this. we came back here at the hospital directly around 5pm and i showed her one documentary that was quite hilarious about a french fan of mylene farmer who was sure that she was about to marry him. we couldn't stop laughing after that, she went back home and left me here. dinner got served but i wasn't really hungry after all that i ate during lunch and in the afternoon (i ate a giant donut filled with nutella and, around 6pm, i also ate a kouign amann that we bought in saint- malo - a kouign amann is a bretgane speciality cake made basically out of salt butter lol - knowing that dinner is served here at 6.30pm every night XD). at night, i got a call from my friend david who wanted to get some news about me. i was feeling really happy that he called just for that! we should meet this week normally.
this morning, when i woke up, i was feeling quite tensed because i knew i finally had my appointment with the psychologist at 9.30am and i had so many stuff i had to talk about. i was so streesed that i didn't even do my workout. i just had a shower and went there. the appointment went really well and i finally had the chance to express myself about all that's been happening lately. after that, i thought i would feel relieved but it was all the contarary. everything that i was trying to keep under control until now just appeared again so i decided that it would be better for me to stay here in the afternoon and take time for myself to think about all of this. i decided to follow her advice and started writing about my feelings. this is what explains the title of this blog "le puits" (the well) because it's the first text i wrote. it's been really painful to write down all these feelings i had inside and show me with no mask at all. i showed the text to aram and my friend arnaud and aram even told me i should turn it into a song. i still don't know as it's a draft of my feelings and that, in the state it is for the moment, it just can't be lyrics for a song. maybe, i'll rework it later so that it becomes a song... here's the draft i wrote (in french mostly) :
i also wrote another text about the fact that love that i was feeling was ending up killing me, litteraly speaking. i think i'll have to keep on with this pace and continue writing and finally put words to everything that i'm feeling inside. it'll be my exutory. angel cloud sent me a text this afternoon, to say that he was sorry not to have contacted me earlier and that he hoped i was doing well. i didn't even answer to it and i won't. i'm just not ready for this right now.
anyway, let's move on to the next step : shout it out and rebuild!
have all a wonderful week!